 |
| Due to an unexpected minor hiccup...(60 MPH winds up
the channel), all diving by this well 'ard London scuba
club to be carried out in unsinkable high speed mega-expensive
ribs was cancelled!
 Embarrassingly,
no one bothered to tell hundreds of bloody kids it was too dangerous,
They just lashed sticks to drums and launched dozens of rafts. So (pride
in tatters) ....we judges decided to challenge the teams to get
"photographed with armour" while we tried to think of a reason to
disappear with all the money. |
 Pam's
People....Cheated. They fluttered their eyelashes at the museum curator
who unbelievably let them put on some 17th century armour and took snaps
of them - then they had the gall to also bribe the judges.Clarkie's
Crew....Cheated. They fluttered their eyelashes ( major cause for
concern here....) at the owner of the fancy dress hire shop, who not
only let them dress up as knights....but also snapped them. (Censored
- Webmaster)
 | First Half Score : Pam's People - 1, Clarkie's Crew - 0 (
Marked down due to the eyelash fluttering affair above ). |
|
| Meanwhile...certain Organisers out on an
"educational experience" of Portland's historic Napoleonic past, found
themselves almost certainly/probably unaware that via a historic fence
and past a 18th century CCTV camera, the "Ruins"
they were seeking access to....was in fact the back door of
Her Majesty's Prison Verne (still housing 572 category "A"
prisoners) . A Prison Authority Spokesman said "Being built around 1875,
this is the first recorded BREAK-IN on record" ....he also said "go
away" (at least that's what we think he meant by the short phrase he
used). |
| ( Now 70 MPH winds up channel ) |
|
 After
two or three rounds of lunchtime bribing....both teams embarked on a
highly skilful and I might add most dangerous round of "One Eyed
Crazy Pirates Golf", with children's clubs being used as a
handicap for the more seasoned sportsmen (those stupid enough to admit
playing the odd round). Most members got round with a creditable 320
over par, with Sue playing through (the water feature). Most of the
Organisers finished their 18 holes with scores of around 18! ......( a
personal best in my case ). |
| Score Now : Pam's People - 1, Clarkie's Crew - 1
. |
|
Saturday night dinner was an embarrassing evening of
further shallow attempts to bribe the judges (who were bribed as newts
by now). . As a result of hangovers, and the noisiest winds on record,
the judges, in brave attempt to instil a little diving in
the annual diving competition had cunningly found not only a site but
also adequate equipment to run a most novel and challenging
event....plus they are vindictive b******s.
Picture this ....Chesil Beach - Sunday - 8.30am - Force 23 winds. The
task : Each buddy pair - get in...if they can ( sniggering opportunities
here ). Get out ...God willing (the joy of laughter) and in between,
descend to 8 metres and carve a (very buoyant) Pumpkin into a
Halloween Lantern......ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !
Finally, amazingly, every pair returned with their pumpkin carved
into a lantern of sorts (sad b******s ) and after very careful scrutiny
and refreshments....points were awarded. |
|  The
final Results :- 100 MPH winds.....no boats actually
launched....purchases of aspirin in Weymouth area hit record high
and Clarkie's Crew .....carried the day by a five
point victory. |
|
